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Mental Resilience

“Believe what is in the line of your needs, for only by such belief is the need fulfilled… Have faith that you can successfully make it and your feet are nerved to its accomplishment”.

William James

In my previous discourse we have discussed emotions as your key guides for any meaningful experiences in your life. In order to better understand this complex inner relationship, let’s evaluate other relevant aspects of your personality, which are responsible for the consistent growth in your life. They are your unreserved self belief, mental resilience and persistence to follow your dreams. Now, you may be confused as to why I’m talking about this, but in all fairness, how many people that you know apply this principle to the letter in their lives? How many of them have decided to make radical changes in their lives, pushed themselves out of their comfort zones and have done something to materialise their dreams? If you’re one of these people – fantastic! But, still you may be interested to read on, because in my research to date, I have concluded that majority of people do not fully understand their own abilities and what they are truly capable to achieve. The main reason is how we were treated as children.

The principal reasons for this type of “play it safe” behaviour is something that most people are taught from their early age and if you don’t decide to challenge it, you will use it as your guiding beacon for the rest of your life. So what does this mean? If you were conditioned that you must work hard in order to survive – that’s precisely what you will do.You will work hard and you will keep surviving and as a consequence you will keep ignoring your inner voices telling you that there is something much bigger and better out there than you have ever imagined. You will most likely ignore those voices and will continue with your daily life. But what about your dreams and the life you truly desire? If you find yourself paralysed with fear of unknown and risk taking is not your thing, than you’re not alone. Majority of people like to play it safe and only a handful are true risk takers, but that is where you will experience the best in life.

Let’s assume you’re an action man conditioned from your early childhood to follow your dreams and also you were made to believe that you can do anything you want. You will dream and you will make them your reality, because you will act upon them without much deliberation or doubt. You will do that because that’s part of your being and that doesn’t mean you are more intelligent, competent and braver, than someone who’s not of your ilk. You will follow your dreams, because you have established that deep connection from within, which facilitates and nurtures your greater sense of self worth and belief in your own abilities.

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Good levels of self belief are paramount for keeping you motivated and focused on achievement of your ambitions, despite the fact that right now you might not have enough information or knowledge to make it work. What matters is that you start that journey and you keep yourself motivated and more importantly you keep learning from your mistakes. This is the key difference between those who are daring and those who are not. Dare devils are conditioned risk takers who take every opportunity to learn from their mistakes, which further strengthen their unshaken self believes about what they are capable to achieve.

However, if we assume that you are not very confident person and that you have decided to follow your dreams, you will need to brace yourself for a torrid time, when things do not go as planned. In which case you may chose to panic and even blame circumstances, other people and the lack of knowledge. But when faced with such situations, you must resume the full responsibility for whatever you’re doing and then methodically evaluate things that went wrong. This is not going to be easy, particularly if you have low tolerance levels for making mistakes. Because you habitually measure success by the speed with which you achieve your objectives. In my opinion that is a big problem, because if you only chase end results without enjoying the process, how are you going to learn, so that you do not make those same mistakes again in the future.

The true success is built on knowing the process and the only way you can do this is by going through the constant mill of trial and denial, until you learn to integrate that knowledge into your future actions. This is of course very difficult path to chose and instead, majority of people chose to observe their “failures” as confirmations of their weak beliefs of what they can do. Because it’s always safer to stick with what they know best. Naturally, if you feel this way and you do nothing to turn this around, it will amplify itself, until you decide to abandon whatever it is you’re doing right now. In this case you will have no further motivation to go on and without meaningful results – your limiting beliefs will remind you that risk takings are against your interests. As a consequence your attitude and behaviour will align with that already established belief, which will end your experimental learning and risk taking experiences.

As seen from these two examples, they’re more or less similar, but the key difference is persistence, risk taking, resilience, self belief and more importantly pushing your tolerance levels upwards. In both cases, people are aiming for similar things, but their emotional experiences are different. Because the first person uses mistakes as learning points, whilst second person is dominated by the fear of making mistakes and doesn’t take them lightly and doesn’t even acknowledge them or even learn from them. This is the point from which stress takes it ugly head and debilitates that person from achieving his or her aspirations.

So what is the way forward? It’s simple and yet it’s extremely difficult – as always. You must learn to trust yourself and through effective control of your thoughts and emotions, you must learn to analyse your mistakes and ensure that you do not repeat them again. In that way, you will start raising your self confidence one step at the time and that will spur you to be more adventurous and trustful of your own abilities by learning to push your comfort zone upwards. Because the true growth in life comes from trusting yourself unconditionally and from constantly living on the edge of what you can do right now.

In life – the flat line doesn’t exist, which means that you’re either growing by means of constantly raising your own performance bars or you’re declining by choosing to live within your existing comfort zone. Both ways of existence are stressful, regardless of how you observe them, because if you are not growing, you’re definitely missing the true joys of life and if you are living within your comfort zone – you’re enormously restricting your own potential. So the solution is to learn to trust yourself and set yourself meaningful growth goals that will constantly expand your personal horizons. If you want to know more about our programme and how we can help you achieve your personal development objectives, please visit our website or you may contact Bosko directly on 07984001228. To your health!

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