If you’re like the rest of us, you must have had your own share of dysfunctional relationships, which have influenced your ability to meet new people and establish new meaningful connections and relationships. Naturally, this is something that almost everyone goes through, because relationships with others are not always easy to establish, purely on the basis of individual mind sets of those involved. This means that everyone has his/her own set of values, beliefs and conduct codes from which they observe other people. Relationships on their own represent a sort of maze that share one common point – introduction. In most cases, this is the easiest part, because everyone is curious and to some degree open to get to know other people. But once that point is crossed, you automatically start judging from the perspective of what you have experienced in the past and this is the key stumbling block for most people. Particularly if you need to develop that new relationship for a number of reasons, which could be either personal or professional. Depending on what it is and how potentially important this could be for you – there is a possibility that you will repeat your past mistakes. This means that you could get entangled in a number of challenges, such as: lack of effective communication, different agendas, broken promises, regular disagreements, different personal interests etc… I’m sure there are many other things that could be added on to this list, but regardless of what it might be you’re not progressing, due to obvious lack of mutual rapprochement and synergy.
On the other side, you may have an instant understanding with that person and everything you say and do will naturally be flawless and effortless. In fact, you will love that experience so much that you might even chose to build stronger relationship with that person. I’m sure that you know what I’m talking about in here and this brings me to my next point. Why do you think some people respond to you better than others? The only obvious answer that comes to mind is that we communicate subconsciously and although we are not consciously aware – instinctively we get attracted to people who possess the energy that we need at that particular moment in time. As everything in this reality is fluid, so are our personalities, hence we change in accordance to what we need to grow spiritually. And this poses a massive challenge, because intuitively we respond to people who vibrate closely to our own native vibration, which means “like attracts like”. But the reality of life dictates that we must interact with everyone with a great level of fairness and respect, if we wish to conduct meaningful lives, regardless of whether we will become instant friends or not. Because everything in this reality goes through people and developing stronger emotional intelligence will benefit you immensely and the best way to achieve this trait is to become neutral or accepting.
This is not going to be easy, particularly if are ill tempered, impatient or maybe exerting high expectations on others. Regardless of what it is, when you learn the art of acceptance, it will help you immensely in conducting all sorts of relationships, which would otherwise not come to you naturally. Majority of people practise tolerance, which is extremely difficult to hold on to because you can only tolerate so much, before you decide that you had enough. However, when you accept people for what they are or take a neutral stance toward them, you will see things from a different perspective and that will allow you to manage those relationships more appropriately. All things that you have previously found difficult might prove to be lot easier now, because you will stop judging and instead you will start observing and noticing things, which you haven’t seen before.
In order to achieve this you must be fully centred and congruent from within or in other words, you must achieve that level of inner calmness and listen to your intuitive messages, which will be either expressed through your feelings centre or by your inner voices. The best way to do is to practise mindfulness on a daily basis and when you do so, you will start getting that so much needed clarity. Naturally, at the very beginning it will be challenging, but when you practise it long enough, you will master it. This will grant you with that so much sought after wisdom of how to properly conduct your relationships.
The other point is that you must always be honest about your intentions, be direct (not abusive) but confident in expressing your views and expectations. This of course might not be easy with people whom you find difficult to interact with, but they will respect you for being truthful about your views. At least in that way, there will be no surprises when it comes to making difficult decisions – whatever they might be.
You must also remove expectations from other people. This means that you should alway aim to do everything yourself and if it happens that things get done by others – great.
Another key point is in the way how you communicate. Do you pronounce words clearly or do you have strong dialect that’s difficult to understand? Do you observe the language you use? Do you speak with authority or do you exhibit moments of doubt? Do you adapt your voice to the type of situations you’re in? Also, what does your body language say about you? Do you allow plenty of space so that other people feel secure or do you violate their personal space? Do you power dress? If not, why not? Do you like to be approached or do you like to approach other people? In fact all these things affect you and can cause you anxiety and stress particularly when dealing with people who you don’t know that well. All in all, you must have regular feedback from someone, if you wish to make relevant changes in what you wish to improve.
Nowadays, it’s not easy to reflect, calm down, obtain self trust and achieve required solutions, unless you’re surrounded by people who have your best interests in mind. When I say this, I don’t mean your relatives, loved ones, work colleagues and other people with whom you engage on a daily basis. What I’m talking about more specifically is to engage with people that share similar personal development objectives as you. It is those people that will always give you the “tough love”, which you need to grow into whoever you wish to become. You will only be able to do so by being able to effectively share new ideas and analysis of the new ways of being. This will only be possible when you find the right group of people that share similar personal development objectives as you. Also, there is a great probability that within that group, there will be people with whom you would not normally get along. But due to mutual interests, you will work together with them for the purpose of addressing those differences and finding meaningful solutions for life like situations. It is them that will help you “wake up and smell the coffee” and through harnessing the power of group, you will get that confidence, support and knowledge you need to make required changes. In other words, you will discover the power of collective and if this is something that you are looking for and you wish to learn more, please visit our website on www.myespritsain.com for more information.
If you are still not convinced, why don’t you come to one of our taster classes and see it for yourself. During April 2017, we will have two taster events in the centre of Nottingham, which will be held in Belgravia Rooms from 11.00 – 13.00 on 22 April and 29th April 2017 respectively. Please contact Bosko on 07984001228 or firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. We look forward to hear from you.